Funjet also had deals to Las Vegas and elsewhere in the United States, but you aren’t going to get the same fantastic deals you can get to these winter destinations. If you go to these southern resort areas you’ll get low prices and small crowds. If you like high prices and huge crowds, then go to Orlando or New York City, or you can wise up and join me in Aruba in June. The choice is yours, but I’ll save you a beach chair just in case.

They’ve got excellent prices to Las Vegas, Florida, Arizona, and elsewhere. They have deals like this one to Disneyworld in Florida where you pay for 4 nights and you get the 5th night for free, and then also 10% off park admissions. Combine a cheap flight with all of that, and you can’t afford not to try one of these trips.

They have offers to Phoenix too, and while that’s a beautiful area I don’t really recommend it during summer. You might like it though. To test it, turn on your oven and put your head in it for at least an hour and if that seems comfortable to you, then Phoenix might be an ideal place to spend July.

Even if you went down to Cabo in Mexico itself the hotel would cost you $80 per night or more and then you’d still have to pay extra for everything else. How can Carnival get away with prices this low? I think they must be trying to get us hooked on cruises just like drug dealers give you the first one free. This seems a bit unfair. We are not made of stone, Carnival Cruises!

Click on the Vacations tab once you get to Priceline and you’ll see their best specials. Just put in your starting city and leave the other field blank and it will show you all destinations so you can choose the best cheap one for you.

I’m thinking about heading to Hawaii this summer because I’ve heard places where people usually go in winter are not crowded and really cheap during summer. I might also take surfing lessons and look for an ancient tiki at a sacred burial ground, but I don’t blame you for planning other things. Just because the Brady Bunch did it doesn’t mean I have to do it, but tell that to the people I met at the Grand Canyon or that theme part in Ohio because those were the two best vacations I’ve ever been on.

For example, Caribbean Jim tells us that 7-night Barbados vacations including air are starting at $399 now. How can you beat that? People who went in January probably paid double that or even more. This is a game of supply and demand, and right now demand is low and yet the weather there is still perfect.

This guy has also come up with cruises starting at $209 per person. Even if it was a 24-hour cruise, which I don’t think it is, that would be a decent deal. You don’t want to go to the Caribbean in the summer, but you’d be crazy not to go now. I think Caribbean Jim would approve as well.

So someone else’s loss is your gain, but you are really doing them a favor by helping to keep the troubled economy rolling even if they can’t go. The way I see it, everyone wins. These deals come and go quickly so you’ve got to be ready with credit card in hand when you go searching. I’ve looked at this page many times and it’s not always the same deals, but they always have great bargains if your schedule is flexible.

Just drag the menu down to your departure city and let the fun begin. In a way this like like playing the lottery except you can only win. This can’t be legal, can it?

They currently have deals where you can “recharge your batteries” on 3, 4, and 5-day cruises for as low as $249. This is part of their “Evolutions of Fun” program, which is sure to bring about new misunderstandings based on that controversial name. Regardless of your thoughts on creationism versus evolution, don’t ignore these great offers when they come along. If you do you are liable to be bred out of the gene pool in the future. Either that, or our vengeful God will smite you from on high. The choice is yours, but do something soon, before it’s too late!

For example they have a great offer on an 8-night cruise from Los Angeles along the Mexican Riviera. It’s on Norwegian Cruise Line, even though the ship itself doesn’t go anywhere near Norwegia. Carnival has a 4-night deal from Miami to the Western Caribbean starting at $259, which is practically worth it just for midnight buffet privileges. That’s less than $65 per night, and I’m pretty sure I can eat that much in shrimp and prime rib alone. I wonder if the people on the competitive eating circuit go on cruises to train? If not, they should, especially this one.

But at the moment they have various packages on sale. For example, between now and January 31 you can save up to $100 on a Las Vegas package, and those savings are on top of the already-low price. Can you think of what you might do in Las Vegas with an extra $100? Yeah, I can too. I have a system when playing slots that I think will bring the city to its knees. Come to think of it, it might be better if I play it somewhat cool and only win a few thousand at a time?

If I cleaned out a whole casino each visit they might get suspicious. Hey, why do these big casinos keep going out of business one by one, they’d ask each other? And I’d just start whistling some random tune so they don’t suspect that I’m involved. That always works on TV.

Sure, some people pretend to be bored watching slide shows from other people’s vacations, but I think that’s mostly jealously. What else could it be? It’s not your problem if your friends prefer to spend their cash on their stamp collection or some other nerdy thing. Showing them your slides will probably enrich their life, even if they don’t realize it at the time.

I also recommend serving hummus and telling people it’s poi. I’ve never had poi, but I’ve heard it’s kind of gross, and if it is that could be a major buzzkill for your slide-show party.